How to Heal from Burnout: A Holistic Guide for Women in Their 20s & 30s
What is burnout?
Burnout is a pervasive buzz word you have probably seen all over your social media feed AND your news feed. Influencers and academics alike are fascinated by the common feelings of overwhelm we are all facing. If you take a step back and think about how the world has changed in the last fifty years, the constant state of stress starts to make a lot more sense.
If we allow it, we encounter the amount of tragedy before breakfast that someone 100 years ago might not face in their whole lifetime. We know about tsunamis in Southeast Asia and plane crashes in Toronto. We know about every school shooting in every state. We know if there is a fire or a flood or a tornado in any part of our country all in the first fifteen minutes of the morning news.
Many of us also stay connected to our devices, for both work and for pleasure, at all times. Do you check your email right when you get up and right before you go to bed? That was not possible thirty years ago! People did not have constant access to each other. Now that is not just the norm, dare I say it is the expectation.
The combination of information and access create overstimulation and stress for our brains. Our brains have not adapted to the modern world. When we get a berating email from a supervisor, our brain thinks we are in danger and our nervous system activates to keep us safe as if a predator were after us. Constantly being activated leads to burnout.
Why is it common in high achieving women?
Ahh, I love this question. Why is burnout common in high achieving women? Because they take on the world. High achievers have big goals and oftentimes rest is not on the to-do list. Stress management can be on the back burner for women. Busy people assume they don’t have time. They don’t have time to relax. They don’t have time to get outside. They don’t have time to go for a walk, call a friend, or check in with themselves.
I assure you, you need to make time. And it can actually make you much more productive.
You have probably heard the trope “you have to put your own air mask on before you can help anyone else”. The sentiment applies here. If you are constantly stressed and overwhelmed, you are likely bouncing from thought to thought, less patient, more irritable, and easily frustrated. You might be highly productive but are you actually taking in what is happening in your life or are you just a walking check list?
Women generally have responsibility in the work force and at home. Whether you have a family or a partner or not, you are likely filling many roles: businesswoman, caregiver, daughter, mother, sister, volunteer, friend, organizer, party planner, traveler, host,… Traditionally many of these roles have played a more significant role for women. So women have many of the societal obligations of the past and all the new ones of the present.
Signs of burnout
Let’s go over a list of signs you are experiencing burnout. I am going to include a few common examples as well as some less obvious symptoms.
Fatigue - you are frequently tired, even shortly after waking.
Difficulty concentrating - your brain bounces from topic to topic, often not fully present and thinking about what will happen several steps ahead.
Worry - you overthink and try to plan for every outcome.
Irritability - you feel less empathy for those around you.
Frustration - you find yourself more easily angered and focusing on the negative.
Brain fog - you sometimes feel like you are in a daze or even disassociate.
Appetite Fluctuations - you forget to eat or overeat and are generally less connected to your body.
Discontentment - you feel a sense of unease with aspects of your life.
This list isn’t comprehensive. It is intended to get you thinking. Is your partner actually breathing weird or are you burnt out? Obviously joking here but I hope you get what I mean. Oftentimes when clients come in fixated on an irritant with a loved one, we take a step back and see what the underlying feeling is.
If you can recognize some of these signs and physical sensations, you can intervene before you react emotionally to a roommate or partner. Think about how your life could change if you knew how to manage your stress better. Awareness gives you freedom. If you are aware, you get to decide how to respond rather than having the choice dictated by an emotion.
Mind-body connection in burnout recovery
Hopefully, if you have gotten to this point, you are interested in making some changes to reduce your burnout. Let’s put your air mask on.
Sleep Hygiene
Another mental health buzz word. Let’s make this super simple: turn off your devices as many minutes before bed as possible. Make your space dark. Reduce your stimulation. The first thing any parenting book tells overtired mothers to do is to create an environment for sleep and a consistent routine. We have created the environment, now let’s look at the routine.
Try to get to bed at about the same time every night and try to do the same few things so your brain recognizes it is in wind down mode. Do your skincare routine, turn the lights lower, reduce stimulation as much as possible (sound, sight, smell, taste, feel). Put your phone down as you are really winding down. Try a simple breathing exercise or guided meditation.
Nutrition Tips
Think about nutrition as fuel. If you put the wrong type of gas in your car, it will eventually affect your engine and cause major issues. Similarly if you do not put enough gas in your car, it will eventually stop running. Food is fuel for our body. Choose wisely.
Eat whole foods. Eat what feels good for your body. Eat the rainbow. I am not a nutritionist or dietician. So let’s keep it basic.
Nervous System Regulation
As I mentioned earlier, burnout comes from hyperarousal. Our bodies were not built to be in a constant state of stress response. We are meant to come in and out of arousal based on perceived danger. The issue is, in 2025, there are dangers everywhere: alarms, loud noises, the news, negative emails, rude comments on social, not getting invited, getting invited, break ups, ghosting, e-bikes,…
We have a sympathetic nervous system and a parasympathetic nervous system. Our sympathetic nervous system activates when we are in danger. That used to be when a bear was chasing us. Now it is when someone honks a horn during rush hour. This is also called our “fight our flight response”. Signs your sympathetic nervous are active include:
Rush of adrenaline
Increased heart rate
Dilated pupils
Reduced appetite
Rapid breathing
Alternatively, when your rest and digest system or parasympathetic nervous system is active, you are conserving energy and supporting normal bodily functions.
Slow heart rate
Digesting
To switch from sympathetic (fight or flight) to parasympathetic (rest and digest) you have to relax. You have to try to control your breathing and slow your heart rate. There are several breathing techniques like box breathing or deep breathing that can help. You can also practice awareness and use cognitive processes to remind yourself you are safe.
Now I know none of these strategies are that novel but I promise you, if you sleep well, fuel your body, and take care of your physical needs, you will notice a shift in your nervous system regulation and your daily functioning.
How therapy can help deal with burnout
While it is easy to read about burnout, developing an awareness of your physical and cognitive processes and making changes is not. I frequently work with clients to first identify that they are in a state of burnout and recognize how this is impacting both their work and their personal lives. Then we work on connecting with the body so we can come up with some targeted interventions.
Dealing with burnout is not easy. Once you develop your toolkit, you can recognize it more easily in the future and will know how to handle it more efficiently which in turn will reduce its impact on your life.
Reach out for support if you have questions or want to begin your burnout recovery.
